it's been almost 6 months we're together, right?
when i look back i see; coming together, having dinner, talking about your "..." and sometimes having sex. ok, this sounds harsh but it is true. we do nothing more. i don't say those things we do are ordinary, they were always special because i was with you..

this is my most special relationship, right. but what is this unhappiness, why am i unhappy? i had to ask this question to myself and i found the answer.
do you remember,ever, going to the cinema together, going on a picnic, celebrating our monthiversary with a dinner or something,lying on the grass and leaving the world behind, just being happy to be together, doing anything not ordinary??
i was ready to do anything of this kind but i've never seen the will in you. i think that's why the voice in my head tells me not to believe the things you say.
you're devoted, you're passionate about your work but i really wonder how you would feel if i were you and you were me. being with a man with only his work on his mind.

i'm really sad that you don't want to spend more time with me..
if you think you have to practice "..", this idea itself is enough to wake you up at 6am but for example; we come together, have dinner and when we're done eating, the conversation continues for at most an hour. then comes your most common sentence:
"ok güzelim, i have to go now"
no actually you don't have to go.
how many times you didn't realise that sad look on my face when you said this..
when you want, i spend the night for which i dare to tell a hundred lies to my family, with you .
to me "love" is this: not telling that you do but do showing it.
you doubt my love. great.
go back and look at yourself please. i'm trying to be mature here but i can't hold my tears now .
you don't want to meet me because you think your precious ego is not ready to hear an accusation. and then you say you doubt my love. this is your problem: contradiction.
the things you say and you do are not consistent.
you said you missed me a lot in "..." , you said you were gonna go crazy because of jealousy. where is it now? the last time we met. when was it, i really don't remember. i couldn't see any of those feelings there. that's why i have doubts believing you.
and going back to that day, i could find more things to talk with a friend i haven't seen for that long.
it is not the only time this happens. if it was, i would really try to ignore it but i'm at a point that i can't ignore anything more..

when i speak to a friend, if i feel she doesn't listen to me i shut up and never attempt to speak about myself again. respect is the most important thing in my life and i'm too sensitive about it. i show respect to the people that i love, and care about them, listen to them, try to solve their problems like they are my own problems.
i've always had problems expressing myself, that's why i couldn't finish writing this message for about an hour. i'm really fragile inside, i tried to fix it but i can't.. you seem to care about the things people say about you and i care about the things my beloved ones do and say. actually i exaggerate, think over and over till i make myself sick. but yes for the moment you are the center of my life and being ignored by you makes me sad, miserable, pessimistic...
i can't change the way you are but if you don't even want to speak what can i do for our relationship?

i'm trying to find what my problem is. really, what is wrong with me? why do i feel something is missing while you are thinking everything's perfect.

you can't say "i love you" and give nothing in return. love is sacrifice, love is about caring for each other.
and i don't know how i can show you more that i care about you..